Tag Archives: success

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How Much Do You Want It?

There is a big difference between wishing for something, and deciding to make it happen.

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I like to collect psychologist jokes. They help me to not take myself too seriously. Here ismotivation to reach your goals. my favorite psychologist joke. Question: “How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?” Answer: “Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.”

 

I like the joke because it is so true. I learned a long time ago that I can’t help someone change unless they really want to change. Even with the right motivation, it is hard, but without it, it is impossible.

 

A new year brings thoughts of change, starting over, and resolutions. We may want to stop some bad habit, or start some new one. We may want to change our job, our house or our relationships. We may want it, but is that enough?

 

There is a huge difference between wishing or wanting something, and deciding to make it happen. Many people wish for a better job, more education, better health habits or improved relationships, but a smaller number are determined enough or motivated enough to put in the hard work to make it happen.

 

After all these years, I can still hear my high school football coach asserting that the game would be won by the team that wanted it the most. He was usually right. High school athletic talent is usually fairly evenly distributed, so performance differences can usually be attributed to the player’s motivation and willingness to work.

 

The research is now fairly well-known that showed that mastery of any task or skill takes about 10,000 hours of practice. That’s a lot of hours. That’s also a lot of dedication, determination and motivation.

 

I recently heard the following from a business consultant. “If you want to make something happen, you figure out the necessary cost, and then you pay it.” You do what needs to be done. You don’t have to do it all at one time. You will often take baby steps, and sometimes you may not be able to see progress, but with absolute determination and persistence, you will get there.

 

A student once asked Socrates how to get to Mount Olympus. The question was more spiritual than geographic, since the ancient Greeks believed that Mount Olympus was the home of the gods. Socrates’ response was simple, “Make sure every step you take is in that direction.”

 

Every step we take either takes us toward or away from our goals. The steps can be small, but if taken in the right direction, they will get us to our goals.

 

So, in this new year, remember the importance of proper motivation and dedication in the pursuit of your goals. If the goal is good, right and worthwhile, it is worth the effort to make it happen. Change can happen, if you really want it.

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Fine Tuning Those Resolutions

Here are six steps you can take to help you reach your goals.

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As we approach a new year, we tend to think about new beginnings. For many, Januarygoal setting 1st suggests a time for starting some new habit, starting a new project, or simply starting over. The idea of setting new year’s resolutions has become cliché.

Yet, most of us have things we would like to improve about our lives. We think about changes that could make us happier or more comfortable. Unfortunately, our wishes or dreams don’t seem to be enough to change our reality.

So, what can we do to turn those dreams into reality? How can we most effectively improve our lives? The answer is deceptively simple. We get more done, create positive change, and realize more of our dreams when we start with written, specific, and measurable goals.

In “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School,” Mark McCormack relates a study in 1979, where graduating students were asked whether they had set clear, written goals for their future, and made plans to accomplish them. Only 3% of the students had written goals and plans, 13% said they had goals, but not in writing, and 84% had no goals at all. Ten years later, the 13%, who said they had unwritten goals, were making twice as much as the 84% who had no goals, while the 3% with written goals were making ten times as much. Other studies have shown that people who set specific, written goals accomplish much more than those who don’t.

But, it’s not quite so simple. Here are a few guidelines if you want to tap into the power of goal-setting to improve your life.

  1. Your goals need to be specific. A goal of “I want to lose weight” is too vague. A specific goal like, “I want to lose 25 lbs.” is much better. The subconscious mind seems to connect to a specific number or amount, in a way that charges our motivation and determination.
  2. You need a deadline. You will be much more motivated by a goal of “I will clean out the closet by 5:00 Saturday,” than you will the goal “I will clean out the closet.” Try to make it a reasonable deadline, but set one.
  3. Make the goal measurable. This may be accomplished by making the goal specific, but it may not. There needs to be no question whether you met the goal. Anyone should be able to tell whether you succeeded.
  4. Determine a strategy to meet the goal. Make a plan. How do you plan to accomplish the goal? What are the intermediate steps you will have to take?
  5. Post the goal where you will see it. To be successful, you will need to be reminded of the goal. I’m sure that this is the reason someone invented refrigerator magnets.
  6. Tell a supportive, encouraging friend. Having an accountability partner can really help. They may be aggravating, but nonetheless helpful.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose. See if goal-setting can work for you in changing your life for the better. And there’s no better time than the beginning of a new year!

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The Power of Setting Goals

You can get more done when you set and follow clear, written goals.

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Most of us have things we would like to improve about our lives. We think about changes that could make us happier or more comfortable. Unfortunately, our wishes or dreams don’t seem to be enough to change our reality.Proper goal setting can bring success.

So, what can we do to turn those dreams into reality? How can we most effectively improve our lives? The answer is deceptively simple. We get more done, create positive change, and realize more of our dreams when we start with written, specific, and measurable goals.

In “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School,” Mark McCormack relates a study in 1979, where graduating students were asked whether they had set clear, written goals for their future, and made plans to accomplish them. Only 3% of the students had written goals and plans, 13% said they had goals, but not in writing, and 84% had no goals at all. Ten years later, the 13%, who said they had unwritten goals, were making twice as much as the 84% who had no goals, while the 3% with written goals were making ten times as much. Other studies have shown that people who set specific, written goals accomplish much more than those who don’t.

But, it’s not quite so simple. Here are a few guidelines if you want to tap into the power of goal-setting to improve your life.

  1. Your goals need to be specific. A goal of “I want to lose weight” is too vague. A specific goal like, “I want to lose 25 lbs.” is much better. The subconscious mind seems to connect to a specific number or amount, in a way that charges our motivation and determination.
  2. You need a deadline. You will be much more motivated by a goal of “I will clean out the closet by 5:00 Saturday,” than you will the goal “I will clean out the closet.” Try to make it a reasonable deadline, but set one.
  3. Make the goal measurable. This may be accomplished by making the goal specific, but it may not. There needs to be no question whether you met the goal. Anyone should be able to tell whether you succeeded.
  4. Determine a strategy to meet the goal. Make a plan. How do you plan to accomplish the goal? What are the intermediate steps you will have to take?
  5. Post the goal where you will see it. To be successful, you will need to be reminded of the goal. This is the reason they invented refrigerator magnets.
  6. Tell a supportive, encouraging friend. Having an accountability partner can really help. They may be aggravating, but nonetheless helpful.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose. See if goal-setting can work for you in changing your life for the better.

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The Impact of Self-Esteem Wounds on Your Educational and Career Success

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This is the fourth of my four-part series on the impact of self-esteem wounds. We have looked at the impact of such successwounds on our mental health and overall well-being and on our relationships. Today we’ll examine their impact on educational and career success.

While self-esteem wounds can be in any area, we can generally divide them into person wounds and performance wounds. Person wounds occur when we feel that we are not likable or lovable and anticipate that we will be rejected or ignored. Performance wounds occur when we feel we are inadequate and incompetent and anticipate that we will fail or be judged.

As you might expect, performance wounds have a greater impact on educational or career success. While the fears of rejection, typical of person wounds, can make one back away from opportunities because of social fears, such an impact seems to be less frequent.

The impact of performance self-esteem wounds is pretty obvious. The person believes that she is not as smart, capable or competent as others. She looks at an educational possibility as totally out of her reach. She believes that others can do it, but not she. She chooses an easier major or a lesser degree.

When the employee questions his abilities, he will be less likely to share ideas in meetings. He will worry that his suggestions are unimportant or worthless. He will anticipate disapproval from others on the team. If he does speak up, his anxiety may impair his ability to present his ideas with clarity. He may seem hesitant and unsure of himself. Others may not give his recommendations proper consideration, completing his self-fulfilling prophesy.

It’s sad to think of the potential talent that has been ignored or wasted because of self-esteem wounds. These false, destructive self-beliefs prevent many from realizing their true potential. Highly intelligent and capable individuals settle for lesser positions and we all lose.

We need to do everything we can to help people recognize the presence of self-esteem wounds and promote healing. It is possible to heal self-esteem wounds. My book, “Parables for a Wounded Heart” is designed to do just that. It is actually a combination book and workbook, as the chapters conclude with exercises. You might also check out my webinar, “Reclaiming Your Positive Self-Esteem.” This four-hour course provides another resource for that healing.

 

Question: Have you seen the limiting effects of self-esteem wounds on yourself or someone you love? What steps have you taken to combat such wounds?