Tag Archives: cognitive therapy

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Reclaiming Your Positive Self-Esteem

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If we reclaim something, it means that we once had it, but lost it at some point. I fully believe this to be true. I believe that most of usImage lost something valuable, even precious. We lost site of our true identity, who we really are.

This loss didn’t occur passively. Your knowledge of your true worth didn’t peacefully fade like a castle in the sand. It was attacked. It was chipped away, sometimes with a small tap and sometimes with a sledgehammer. The blows may have included critical words, disapproving looks or even looks of disgust, when you made the mistakes all children make. The blows may have occurred in silence, the parental visit that never happened, the lack of a parent at your ball game or concert, or simply the preoccupied manner when you needed attention. Your blows may have come when other kids teased you, laughed at your mistake or, verbally or non-verbally, told you to go away.

Each negative experience covered your true identity with a negative belief about self. Before long, all you could see were those negative, false beliefs. They formed a picture of you that was impossible to ignore. You accepted it. What else could you do? You didn’t know any better.

It’s time to strip away those messages and uncover your true self. It didn’t actually go away. You just couldn’t see it. It was there all along, buried under that pile of negative statements. With time and persistent effort, you can identify and discard those negative beliefs, revealing your true worth, reclaiming your positive self-esteem.

I have taught the course, “Reclaiming Your Positive Self-Esteem” about twenty times in the past eighteen months, with amazing results. The course is based on the principles in my book, “Parables for a Wounded Heart: Overcoming the Wounds to Your Self-Esteem and Transforming Your Perception of You.”

Here are some of the comments made by participants from the live course:

       This course has helped me to better understand how my past has affected my behaviors or experiences today. It also has offered me ways in which I can cope and change the way I see myself.   ~ Thomas A.

This course was an insightful journey into the reasons so many of us suffer from negative thinking! I learned many techniques to overcome a low self-esteem and gain a more enriched and happy life. My perception of myself has changed forever! Thank you!  –Anne P.

This was one of the most “life changing” events I have ever experienced! I wish I had attended this course years ago. For me, it wasn’t just learning about self-esteem. It was learning about myself in this world of many other self-esteem sufferers. I loved the stories, the analogies, the humor and the group interaction. I just can’t say enough about how powerful it was! —Janet L.

In my own experience, the journey of healing a wounded self-esteem can take years of therapy and/or self-discovery… or you can get a jump start and significantly shorten the process by attending Dr. Ledford’s workshop series! He has an amazing gift of getting to the heart of the issue, and gives practical steps to finding relief for a problem that can haunt all aspects of a person’s life. In a classroom setting, where privacy is protected and where you find strength in knowing you are not alone, Dr. Ledford will lead you through exercises and examples that bring out the best opportunity for seeing yourself as the wonderful person your Creator made you to be. Give yourself a gift by registering for this workshop today…you’ll be glad you did! —Sarah M.

 

I’m excited to announce that this course is now available as a webinar on Udemy.com. The course includes videos of the live course with power point slides and written exercises. There are thirteen lectures. You can watch it at your convenience. You have permanent access to it, so you can review any lectures at any time.

 

I hope you enjoy the course and begin the process of reclaiming your positive self-esteem!

 

SIGN UP FOR RECLAIMING YOUR POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM COURSE HERE

 

 

Question: Please comment on your experience with the course.

 

 

 

 

 

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Are You a Mind Reader?

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Do you believe that Imageyou are a mind reader? Do you assume what others are thinking or feeling? Do you react to your assumptions as if they are fact? Do you believe with all your being that you are right in those assumptions? Are your moods determined by your mind reading?

If you are honest with yourself, you will have to answer yes to all the above questions. It is a rare human being that has attained that degree of wisdom, self-discipline or enlightenment required to never assume another’s thoughts or feelings. When you assume other’s thoughts, intentions or feelings without having all the facts, you are mind reading.

So, let’s start with the admission that we all do mind reading. We observe another’s facial expression and assume that he or she is angry or displeased with us. We see someone hesitate when we voice an invitation and assume that they don’t really want to spend time with us. We notice a tone of voice or inflection and believe the person is irritated, disapproving or displeased. We observe apparent distance and conclude that they don’t love us (or at least don’t love us as much as we love them).

Our mind reading assumptions allow us to fill in the missing information in our social interactions, but is it accurate information or misinformation? How often are our mind reading assumptions simply wrong? Inaccurate mind reading assumptions may fill our emotional sails, pushing us forward quickly, but unfortunately pushing us off course. We make decisions and choices based on our assumptions. If the assumptions are wrong, the choices will also be wrong.

When we make mind reading assumptions, we do so based on our expectations. We could have expectations based on the particular individual’s prior behavior. For example, if Uncle Henry has tended to be critical in the past, we assume that the ambiguous statement he made today was said with critical intent.

We may also have expectations based on our prior experiences with other people. If Cindy felt rejected in her previous high school, she will expect to be rejected at the new high school. If Jeff’s parents were critical and difficult-to-please, he may perceive his current supervisors to be critical and displeased with him.

The correct answer to the question about what someone is thinking is “I don’t know” because that is the truth. When we assume we know another’s thoughts or feelings, we act on those assumptions and we close the door to other possibilities. When we remind ourselves that we actually don’t know what they are thinking, we leave the doors open for all possibilities.

Try to catch yourself doing mind reading. Remind yourself that you don’t actually know what they are thinking. I believe you will find this simple practice to be helpful in your relationships and your personal mental health.

Question: When are you most guilty of mind reading? Do you have an example of a time when you assumed what someone was thinking or feeling and then found out that you were very wrong?