Tag Archives: aging

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Stress and Aging

We can't eliminate the losses that come with aging, but we can take steps to lessen the stress.

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Stress is defined as an organism’s response to environmental demands or pressures. Negative stress occurs when we perceive our environment as straining or exceeding ourstress and aging adaptive capacities and threatening our well-being. We experience stress when we feel a loss of (a) control over our physical well-being, (b) influence over our circumstances or (c) our social support networks.

As we age, we inevitably experience all these losses. People vary in how early or late the losses occur, but unless we die young, we will all be there. Let’s look at these areas of loss and how they impact stress.

  1. Loss of control of our physical well-being: The loss of physical functioning actually begins in middle age. We may find that we need bifocals. We don’t have the stamina we once had, and we experience new aches and pains. As the aging process progresses, our physical losses increase. We exchange agility and stamina for fatigue and pain. In advanced age, even our day-to-day functioning becomes problematic, such that we need others to take care of our needs. All of this adds to our stress in predictable ways. We lose trust in our bodies. We lose control.

 

  1. Loss of control over our circumstances: With advanced age, it seems that others begin to make choices for us. We are told that it is no longer safe for us to drive. At some point, we find that we are unable to take care of ourselves and stay in our homes. Even with retirement savings, most of us have to deal with limited income. Many older adults find themselves worrying more about things they would have ignored in their younger years. Uncertainty always leads to increased stress.

 

  1. Loss of social support networks: Our social support networks consist of our spouse, family members, friends and acquaintances. One disadvantage of living longer than most is that you live longer than most. You experience the deaths of many people you have known and loved. You miss them. Also, as we age, we have fewer opportunities to make new friends. We are more likely to feel alone and lonely. Isolation creates stress.

Unfortunately, we haven’t found a way to eliminate the changes that come with aging. But we can take steps to lessen the stress. First, we can be thankful for the gift of a long life. We could eliminate the stresses of old age by dying young, but I don’t think many would choose that option. Gratitude lessens stress.

When we realize that old age is a gift, we more easily accept the characteristics of an aging body. We find ways to work around our limitations. This attitude also helps us adapt to the realities of our circumstances. We work to maintain independence where we can, but demonstrate a more serene acceptance where we can’t. Finally, we need to do everything we can to maintain our relationships. Call any remaining old friends or acquaintances, stay involved in group activities as long as you can. Look for opportunities to keep your mind active.

And for those of you in the younger years, call or visit an older adult. Let them know you love them. Think of someone who may feel that they are alone, and let the know that they’re not. You just might reduce their stress.

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Self-Esteem and Aging

Some losses are inevitable with age. Self-esteem doesn't have to be one of them.

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Life is like a conveyor belt. We get on at birth, and ride it until we die. The belt takes us through many rooms, often filled with wonderful adventures, and sometimes with Aging with a positive self-esteemheartache. As we move forward, we have many opportunities for purpose, relationship and meaning. Hopefully, we use those opportunities to enrich life for others and for ourselves.

 

But one thing is certain for every person. Regardless of who you are, the belt keeps moving.  Try as we may, we cannot stop the belt, or even slow it down. Before we know it, we find ourselves further down the path than we ever imagined, and wonder how we got here. We gradually move from youth to old age. The only way to avoid growing old is to die young.

 

As we grow older, we encounter many changes which can negatively impact self-esteem or self-worth. We’ll examine two potential factors.

 

  1. Changes in physical appearance: Wouldn’t it be nice to have the money spent each year by people trying to look younger? From anti-aging creams to hair dye to Botox and face lifts, we try to buy back time. If our self-esteem is too closely tied to a youthful appearance, we’re in trouble. Wrinkles form, skin sags and hair turns gray. To maintain self-esteem, we have to accept that such changes are inevitable. More importantly, these outward signs are the badge of honor of successfully living a long time.

 

  1. Changes in physical functioning: Try as we may, we just can’t do the things we used to do. With aging, we have to adjust to changes in vision, hearing, physical strength and stamina. We have more aches and pains, and less energy. If our self-esteem or self-worth is too closely tied to our physical functioning, we’re also in trouble. Who you are is not defined by what you can do. Think of an older adult you have loved. Was their worth defined by what they could do physically? Did their poor vision impact how you saw them? Did their decreased energy make you grow tired of them? No. You loved them for who they were, not for what they could do. You valued them because they had added value to your life.

 

To maintain a healthy self-esteem as we age, we have to remember that our worth is defined by who we are, not by what our bodies can do or how they look. Old age means you survived more years. You are more experienced. Because of those years of experience, you have a richer perspective. Wrinkles can bring wisdom. You know things now that you didn’t know in youth. Try to find ways to use that experience, perspective and wisdom to add value to someone’s life. That just may be your purpose on this end of the conveyor belt.

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As Slow As Christmas

As we age, time seems to move faster and faster.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately. By lately, I mean the past few years, but ittime perception seems like just a few days. It’s interesting to me, how time seems to pass at different rates at different times.

When we’re children, time seems to pass very slowly. I remember the phrase “as slow as Christmas,” because it seemed that Christmas came so slowly. The days would drag on, as I closely examined the Sears toy catalog, imagining the possibilities of Christmas morning.

Back then, time also seemed to drag on, as I anticipated the end of the school year. I didn’t think about it much until spring, but the time between April and June seemed to take an eternity. I never considered my teachers feelings back then. I just assumed that they lived somewhere in the schoolhouse, and never imagined, in a million years, that they were as anxious to get rid of me, as I was to get away from them.

Then, around middle-age, something strange happened. The laws of time and space began to shift. The clocks began to spin uncontrollably. Time passed more quickly. A year seemed more like a month, which seemed more like a week, which seemed more like a day, which of course, seemed more like a minute.

This shift in the speed of time seemed so obvious, that I assumed everyone would notice it. Strangely, only those my age or older seemed to see it happening.  For some reason, young people we’re under the delusion that time was still moving very slowly.

 

The perception that time passes more quickly as we age is almost universal, and has been researched for years. Studies show that our perception of short periods of time doesn’t change much as we age. Our perception of longer periods, such as a decade, does change significantly.

 

Research shows that, when we are learning new tasks, time seems to move more slowly. This prompts the theory that we perceive time more slowly in younger years because we are having to learn many more new tasks. If true, this suggests that we might be able to slow time in older years by being life-long learners.

 

Some have suggested that a year seems much longer to a child than an older adult because it represents a larger proportion of the child’s life. A year is 1/10th of a ten-year old’s life, but only 1/40th of a forty-year old’s life.  The theory that the year seems longer to the child, because it constitutes a larger portion of his life does seem logical.

 

The issue has also been examined from a neurological perspective. Most researchers now believe that specific parts of the brain are used for time perception. Further, certain parts of the brain seem to be involved in perception of longer periods of time, while other parts gage shorter time periods.

 

Perhaps someday we’ll understand exactly why time seems to pass faster as we age. But, for now, I’ve done my own scientific study. I was once very young, and it took forever for Christmas to come. I am now a few years older, and it seems to come and go before I blink. Absolute proof. I guess I’ll just try to enjoy the season while I can.

 

 

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Perception of Time as we Age

As we grow older, time seems to speed up. We'll consider possible explanations.

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Does it seem that time passes faster than it used to? Do you find yourself making statements like “I can’t believe it’stime perception already Monday,” “I can’t believe it’s already April,” or worse, “I can’t believe I’m already 60.”

 

Perception of the time is interesting. Sometimes, time seem to fly by, and sometimes it drags on. Yet, the clock ticks off each second, minute, hour and lifetime at exactly the same rate. So, why does time seem to pass more rapidly as we grow older?

 

Changing perception of time with aging has been a topic of psychological research and debate since the 1890’s, but we still don’t fully understand it. There seem to be several factors leading to our sense that the clock speeds up as we grow older. A 2013 summary of research by Jordan Lewis in “Scientific American” presents several theories.

 

  1. We gauge time by memorable events.

    In our younger years, we experience more first-time events (a first date, first kiss, first job, marriage and the birth of children), than in our older years. The fact that those memorable events were packed into a few years may make those years seem longer. A year where everything seemed to be changing will seem longer than a year where most things stayed the same.

  2. The amount of time relative to one’s age varies.

    This theory suggests that we are constantly comparing time intervals with the total amount of time we have already lived. One year is 10% of a 10 year old’s life, but only 2% of a 50 year old’s life.

  3. Our biological clock may slow with age.

    Brain research suggests that there are several parts of the brain involved in our perception of time. It may be that some of these parts slow with age. Since the actual speed of the clock stays the same, we may perceive time to pass more quickly as we age.

  4. As we age, we may pay less attention to time.

    The phrase “slow as Christmas” doesn’t seem to apply when we are older. Young people seem to spend more time anticipating the future. Waiting for an anticipated event to occur (a birthday or Christmas) can make the time seem to move like molasses.

 

It seems to me that time perception with age is similar to time perception on vacation. Let’s say that you have a week at the beach. The first days seem to last forever. You feel like you’ve been there a long time already, and you still have several days to go. In the middle of the week, the time seems to pass more quickly. You begin to sense that the week is forging ahead. Then at the end of the week, the days seem to speed by. You feel like the week passed too quickly. After all, you just got here and it’s time to go home.

 

Life, like a vacation week, is a finite period of time. As we move closer toward the end of that time, we feel more like we just got here. The years seem to fly by. I guess it’s just one more reason to enjoy each moment!