Is Your Self-Doubt Killing Your Dreams?

You Can Conquer Self-Doubt and Achieve Your Purpose!

Self-doubt is a ruthless dream killer.

Yesterday, I talked with someone who has huge potential. He is intelligent, kind, thoughtful and has a good depressed_man_001personality. He described a dream he has held since middle school. His dream was a good one. I could feel his excitement as he shared the plans he had made, his educational goals, and his visions of his future day-to-day activities.

He then shared how his dreams fell apart. He lamented that he was now in his mid-thirties, and that he had totally given up on the dream. He explained that, while his interests and personality led him in the direction of the dream, he had “realized” that he just didn’t have the ability.

He related a series of events that made him question his abilities. He felt he just was not smart enough to do it. He had settled for a lower, less demanding path. He gave up on his dream. Actually, his self-doubt had killed the dream.

Self-doubt seems to be found deep in our core being. It is often just under our conscious awareness. We don’t consciously think about self-doubt. Rather, we think the thoughts that are generated by our self-doubt. Thoughts such as, “I don’t think I’m cut out for this” or “I’m not smart enough for that” or “Nobody will want to read my writing.” The thoughts slip through our minds so easily that we barely notice them.

As I talked with the young man, I asked him what he would recommend to a friend in the same situation. He quickly said he would tell the friend to go for his dreams. He then added that his friends had told him the same.

We then discussed small steps he could take to move forward toward his dreams. The small steps seemed much more manageable for him. He made a commitment to start investigating his options.

Everyone has self-doubt at times. The severity of self-doubt depends on the individual’s experience. Those who experienced harsh criticism or academic difficulties usually carry a greater amount of self-doubt.

Pay attention to your self-doubt tendencies. Consider the possibility that your self-doubt is based more on your prior negative experiences, rather than on your actual abilities.

My hope is that you will pursue your dreams and not give up until you’re living them!

 

Comments: Share your experiences of pursuing and attaining your dreams, despite moments of self-doubt.

I'm a psychologist, who helps people who have sustained self-esteem wounds from past negative experiences, overcome those wounds and experience a more positive self-worth, so they can live more joyful and satisfying lives.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

2 thoughts on “Is Your Self-Doubt Killing Your Dreams?

    • It’s not an easy process, but the effort is worth the work. Changing our negative, self-doubting thinking requires understanding/insight, taking on another perspective and persistent monitoring of thoughts. My entire book, “Parables for a Wounded Heart: Overcoming the Wounds to Your Self-Esteem and Transforming Your Perspective of You” outlines the steps to change our negative thinking. I also have the Udemy course: Reclaiming Your Positive Self-Esteem. If you aren’t ready to use those, several of the other blogs address the issue to some extent. Thank you for your interest.

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