When You Get Off Track

Our response to getting off course makes all the difference.

Do you ever get frustrated with yourself? Of course, you do. We all have times when we want to accomplish some staying on coursegoal, improve ourselves in some way, or otherwise change something in our lives. We know what we want to do. We can see the outcome in our mind’s eye. We’re excited and motivated to change. We may even  do pretty well for a while. It looks like we’re going to succeed.

But, then we get off track. We eat that extra roll that’s not on the diet. We sleep late and skip the gym. We find ourselves doing the old behavior we’re trying to eliminate. We get sidetracked and put the project on a back burner. We fail.

I think Paul was talking about me when he said in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I think we can all relate to his frustration. I suppose the only way to not get off track, is to never set a goal. If we strive for nothing, we’ll never be disappointed.

But, I think there’s a better way. I’m a firm believer in setting goals and working each day to better our lives and the lives of others. I want to live my life deliberately, but I do get off track at times. The answer is in our response to those times when we get off track. How do we respond when we realize that we’ve gotten off course?

We have several choices. We can throw our hands in the air and give up completely. We can use the failure as an opportunity to beat ourselves up in our minds. We can brand the failure experience as one more proof of our inadequacy. Or, we can simply get back on track and try again.

To illustrate, I sometimes use the example of an old wooden sailing ship. The captain of the cargo ship has plotted a course from a port in Spain to a particular port in Wilmington, NC. He draws a long straight line from one point to another across the Atlantic.

They say that almost immediately after the ship sets sail, it begins to get off course. The ocean’s currents may wash it north of the designated course. Or the winds may blow it south of course. It moves off the captain’s straight line over-and-over.

The key is that every time it moves off course, the helmsman steers it back on course. The ship simply returns to the desired course, and keeps sailing forward. In fact, my understanding is that the ship is actually off-course more than it is on-course. And, eventually, after repeatedly returning, the ship docks at the desired port in Wilmington.

If we attempt anything, we will get off course. That is normal and okay. When we recognize that we’ve drifted off-course, we simply return. We don’t need to beat ourselves up. It doesn’t help and actually hurts. We just return, again and again, and eventually we get to our desired destination. Try it.

I'm a psychologist, who helps people who have sustained self-esteem wounds from past negative experiences, overcome those wounds and experience a more positive self-worth, so they can live more joyful and satisfying lives.