“To be a person is to have a story to tell.”   Isak Dineson

We see so many people each day. Some we know. Most we don’t. Most of the time, we don’t even really see their faces. They may help us check out at the grocery store, pass us on the sidewalk or even work down the hall. It’s easy for such people to become part of our background noice as we go through our day.

Then there are those people we think we know. They may work with us, attend our church or live down the street. Of course, we do know more about their lives. We know some parts of their lives, but we often assume we know everything of importance. We tend to assume that we know their story, but do we really?

Last night, my wife and I were eating at a restaurant in a nearby town. The server was a very pleasant young woman with an easy smile. After taking our order, she commented that she had already had an eventful day. She went on to say that she had a phone conversation with her long-lost brother and that they had not spoken for eighteen years. She added that he had some disabilities due to fetal alcohol syndrome.

While that was all the personal information she shared, it was enough to remind me that she did, in fact, have a story. Was she adopted? Was her brother removed from the home because of her mother’s drinking? Did she grow up in a foster home? Did she have to deal with the problem of an alcoholic parent during her childhood? Of course, I have no idea, but I do know that there is more to the story than she shared.

Did she look sad, rejected or abused? Not at all. She was grinning that her brother had made the effort to find her and that she now had contact with him. She said she planned to meet him for lunch soon. She was excited and happy.

When we live our lives with the awareness that everyone has a story, we tend to feel more connected. We belong because we too have our story. We are reminded that we are not different.

Maintaining the awareness that everyone has a story also helps us cultivate an attitude of compassion. We tend to be more kind, more understanding. Assuming that others have their story helps you look deeper at those around you. Looking deeper helps you notice more clues that those people have their own story. Seems to be a circular process, doesn’t it?

Question: Can you share some events that reminded you that everyone has a story? Did it effect your perception of the person?  Did you find yourself liking the person more when you learned more about their story?