Accepting the Gift of Forgiveness

Today we celebrate Easter. Christians around the world celebrate the fact that Jesus conquered death and the cross.man_praising_God We remember the gift, the sacrifice and a renewed relationship with our Creator. On this day, we are again reminded that we can be forgiven of our many mistakes, failings and faults. Because He paid our debt, we can be free of guilt and shame. It’s a gift; ours for the taking…  But, do we take it?

Over my thirty-two years of doing counseling, I have seen so many people who are weighed down by the burden of their past mistakes and failings. I have listened as they listed their bad choices, actions and outcomes. They didn’t have to recall them, because they were ever present in their minds. They never forgot them.

I have listened as they assumed the role of prosecutor, jury and judge, while laying out the evidence of their inadequacy and unworthiness. They presented their case, passed their verdict and handed down their sentence.

Unfortunately, the sentence was always life. It was a lifetime of shame, self-criticism, and sadness. There didn’t seem to be any parole or pardon. There was no hope of future freedom. The cell door was welded shut. There was no key.

Interestingly, most of these people were Christians, and fully believed in God’s forgiveness. They easily accepted the fact that any sin can be forgiven and forgotten, making the sinner clean, pure and free. They accepted this fact for everyone else, but not for themselves. Against all logic, they felt that they were somehow different. The couldn’t apply the truth to themselves.

In the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries, there was a religious group called the flagellants. They believe they must continually offer penance for their sins, and thus walked around whipping themselves on the back. The whips were often laced with sharp objects to increase the damage. Their bleeding and their scars served as a testimony to their inadequacy and shame.

Do you recite your list of mistakes in your mind? Have you sentenced yourself to a life sentence of self-criticism, self-blame and shame? Do you keep your self-esteem wounds open by continually picking at them or examining them?

Wouldn’t today be a great day to stop? Of course, you can’t stop such a habit in one day, but you can begin the journey. If you believe that Easter means that forgiveness is available, then today would be a good day to accept it, and begin the process of forgiving yourself.

To do this, you will have to remind yourself daily that your self-blame is unnecessary. You will have to apply the same rules of forgiveness to yourself that you have previously applied to others. You will have to catch yourself each time that you whip yourself with self-criticism; each time you re-live your past failings. You will have to be persistent. It will be worth it. Today, accept the gift of Easter!

 

Question: What steps have you taken to let go of your past, and forgive yourself? Your ideas might help someone else.

I'm a psychologist, who helps people who have sustained self-esteem wounds from past negative experiences, overcome those wounds and experience a more positive self-worth, so they can live more joyful and satisfying lives.